pet·ri·chor
by Skyhon
Summary: Bella moves from the hot barren desert of Arizona to the cold rain of wooded Forks, where she can run wild and free in the thick of the trees. Hanging out with wolves, befriending "vegetarian" vampires, smashing the patriarchy... all in a day's toke for Bella. [Supernatural Bella, Character Growth, Rewrite of Canon (that's technically an AU) Bella/Rosalie/Leah, Realistic Poly]
1. One: Path There

Hello and welcome to a trash heap! This story has no real direction at the moment, so I have no idea what is going to happen besides the bare basics. I was recently sucked into the Twilight fandom once again, after 2,000 years of self-exile, but I'm back to make it GAY. That's right folks, Bella's a lesbian! Edward's gay! Alice is pan! Jasper is bi! Emmett is demi! Rosalie is bi! Carlisle and Esme are our token straights. Lmao.

Look, to be honest, I'm a little angry at the source material. So my story and characters aren't going to be cardboard cutouts in the vague shape of a person (I say this with _as much salt as possible_ ). I aim to be realistic in my fantasy, if that makes any sense, while breathing new life in a character that had no real characteristics besides like... complaining about the cold and being obsessed with her boyfriend of 2 seconds. She's not a Mary Sue, so she's not helpless. She can save herself, thank you very much.

Anyway... onto the story.

* * *

 _Slowly sneaking through the leaves,  
Paw by paw with claws in sheathes._

 _The lynx is lurking through a cell diploid,_  
 _Of whence the light and aether void._

 _A cat that links the cracks in time and space,_  
 _Prowls 'tween worlds with steady pace._

—" _The Lynx_ "

Brenden J. Simons

* * *

 **•One•**

In the middle of the woods with someone else wasn't exactly the ideal place for Bella Swan to be these days. Maybe if she'd been younger, like back in the day with her friends in the summer on the rez; sneaking out at night to pick blackberries in the middle of the woods, later attempting to skinny dip in the freezing ocean. Covered in thorn tips and sporting berry juice staining their fingernails, drunk with more than just liquor; smiling and sure of themselves in the harsh light of the moon.

You are not born doubting yourself. That comes with time.

Back then, she'd been reckless in a completely different way than she was now, quick to overlook the inconsistencies in her life, hoping she could write over it with stolen booze, whispering secrets she'd long forgotten now, and bonfires that burnt her eyelashes. The woods were something to share, tumbling over each other as logs were climbed and bets were wagered.

She'd lived.

But now it was different. She was grown, and without that came the devastating reality: having to keep certain things to herself, not for her sake, but for others.

She'd actually rather be anywhere else; on a plane that was literally crashing, in the middle of a hurricane while completely buck naked, at the heart of a violent riot... anywhere. _Anywhere_ but the cold, damp, silent woods she'd learned when _someone_ else.

Now, when she crept between the trees _,_ she was _alone_.

Stepping foot in the green of the woods made her antsy. She wanted to run, but she really couldn't when her best friend was two feet in front of her, clueless and hyped up for camping. They were going to be here for days. Surrounded by nothing but nature.

Her body felt foreign to her now, even if she'd walked this path many times recently; she was stepping all wrong, expecting a different reaction and variance of grace than what she got from her two human, sneakered feet. She felt off balance and uncomfortable; the experience she called upon when envisioning the land around her was nothing she could use, either too short or too high in perspective. The urge to delve deeper and higher in the trees was an itch she couldn't scratch.

It made her slightly irritable, but she worked to push that aside.

Jacob was the one at fault here. She placed the blame fully on him even if he hadn't known the torture he'd be putting her through. It was his idea, his tent she was lugging across her back, and his baseless direction she was blindly following in the hopes that his promise of something ' _completely awesome, Bells_ ' was founded on something other than the multiple humongous bong rips he'd taken in the back of her truck.

She didn't even know which direction was up at this point, so she was hoping he'd know how to find their way back. If not, then she just accepted her fate of becoming millennial Tarzan for the rest of her life.

Or something like that.

"Jake," she wheezed as he lead them deeper through the trees, long past the end of the thinnest and patchiest path she'd ever had the pleasure to stumble on. She avoided a root that stuck up a whole foot out of the earth and tripped over a rock instead. "Fucking—mercy, dude. I'm about to die from falling and clonking my head on something."

"We're almost there, I swear," he told her, not even bothering to look behind him when he heard her cause a small avalanche down one of the hills to their right. She winced when a large rock thunked slowly down the slope, never ending in its adventure to the depths far below. After a minute she couldn't hear it, but she could've sworn she could feel the earth tremble every so often, as if its impact down the decline was powerful enough that it reverberated up into her calves.

That could've also been the toke she'd taken after his, before departing on their horrible adventure.

"I hate you." She told him, untangling her leg from a particularly clingy branch of a baby oak.

He laughed. "No you don't. You missed me enough to do this with me." he shot her a knowing glance, calling her bluff. "You were super pumped about this on the phone and when we were hanging out yesterday."

"And I'm regretting it," she muttered, with faux-annoyance. He just laughed some more, and she couldn't help but smile at how carefree it sounded.

It felt like ages, but the whole trek was probably twenty minutes tops. Jake pointed to an old fir tree that was bent at an odd angle yards away from them and said they were getting close. She fucking hoped so, or else she'd start singing some improvised songs about Getting the Fuck Out of the Woods (©copyright Isabella Swan.)

Right as she was opening her mouth to start yelling out the surly captivating lyrics, she heard the sound of people talking from far away. She felt hope for the first time since they hit the trail.

They broke through the heavy canopy of the trees and walked out into a clearing. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw other tents scattered around the mostly mowed field besides Leah's torn-up 'two bedroom' cabin-tent. Not that she doubted her best friends, but knowing multiple other people knew how to get here was comforting.

Unless that only knew how to _get_ here. In which case, three Tarzan's became a small army of Tarzans.

She wasn't sure how that would go.

Jake knew more than half the people there, and Bella knew a few, too. Mostly people from the rez, who smiled and waved at them with beer cans and solo cups, or in Leah's instance, a joint that was so comically large it seemed unsmokable. It was seriously almost the size of her head, but thankfully not that thick.

"Hellooooo!" She said, flopping her torso back to the ground from the log she was sitting on and not bothering to pick herself back up. She held the joint up straight in the air from where she lay, contentment on her face. "What's it shakin ya bacons!" She crowed, and then giggled uncontrollably for a good minute or so.

"Fuck, man, I need what she's having," Bella muttered, setting the tent bag down where she thought it would be good to put it.


	2. Two: Arising

**Hewwo y'all sorry about the bad layout of last chapter—I fixed it I think. I'm from Ao3, and I haven't posted on FF in like, wow so long, so it had no markers showing when my notes ended and when the story began because I tried using special little flower emojis that don't work on this site, apparently. You know what else doesn't work on this site that irritates me to no end? Quotation marks look alike. They're the basic bitches of quotation marks. Look: " " Those don't look the same in my doc, or even in the editor, until suddenly they do, when i post it. I use special formatting for a reason! Let me have my fancy text, FFn!**

* * *

 **•Two•**

One thing Bella envied was Leah's total control, which was most evident when she was absolutely blasted off her ass. She could smoke three bowls and take an online history course test, passing with 100% plus extra credit; Bella had watched her do it during one of their Skype calls.

Bella, on the other hand, became slow, introspective, and fixated on random things that lead her off in tangents. Whether they were mental ones or spoken, she never was quite sure; she relied on other people telling her to shut the fuck up to truly know.

Leah got up from the log and plopped herself down in a lawn recliner, leaning forward to examine the instructions Jake had thrown in her general direction. Her demeanor changed drastically from blissed-out stoner to Snarky Leah.

"Need these, big boy?"

"Directions are for chumps," he stated, eyeing the booklet with disgust.

"We die without shelter like men," Leah said solemnly, nodding. "As in, the women are not dying. We are living, in a well constructed tent. Because we read the instructions." She stuck the booklet under her butt. "Jake, I will enjoy watching you begging for this back within ten minutes _immensely_."

Jake rolled his eyes, but his shoulders were tense as he roughly pulled the fabric of the tent out of the bag.

Bella smiled at her, untying and shaking the stakes out of their bag and out onto the grassy floor.

She tried to help for a good minute, she really did—putting forth her best efforts and everything, such as reaching for stuff only to have Jake snatch them away—but he kicked her out of the 'Danger Zone', as he liked to claim, 'for her own safety.'

Bella showed him both her middle fingers. "You're a prep."

"I hate it when you call me that," he muttered, frowning down at the heap of tent stuff.

Which is why she did it. Obviously.

Jake and Leah didn't know about her mom, and they sure as hell didn't know about _her_. She was still horrifyingly clumsy in her human form, but at least now she knew if she fell off a roof or something, she'd be able to land on all fours.

Unfortunately, she couldn't exactly outright say that. Or anything, for that matter.

She moved away from the Danger Zone and into the Leah Radius, where she always somehow ended up in the other girl's lap. She wasn't complaining. She was just as touch starved as the next depressed lesbian with physically awkward and distant parents, and Leah was an awesome cuddler with a really comfortable lap. Seriously, if she could leave a Yelp review, she would. Five stars. Great accommodations, with excellent thighs that were prime real estate for Bella's tuchus.

But she knew that Leah had been burning to ask her why she came back here ever since she'd arrived days ago.

At Billy's, she'd been assaulted by their adopted family every single second of the time spent there, and Leah hadn't had the chance to ask. Instead, she spent the night drinking an alarming amount of orange juice at an intense rate, and glaring at Billy with her arms crossed. She hated crowds, Bella knew, but she didn't understand why Billy was the main focus of her ire.

Leah'd tried getting her alone to talk, tugging at her arm silently, but everyone wanted to say something to Bella even if it was just the infuriating "wow, you've grown so big, I knew you when you were this tall!" comment middle aged people seemed to be overly fond of.

Like, we get it. You're old, and I used to be short.

That how it be sometimes.

Leah, in response, got more and more irritated throughout the night. She'd gotten in a fight with Jake in the kitchen about something they both didn't elaborate on later, which wasn't all that surprising—their friendship was rocky at best, and both of them were stubborn.

Bella had just wanted to go to sleep. The whole event had been draining.

She stood and watched Jake try and fail to get the metal rods into the sleeves to keep the tent up, hovering in hopes he'd ask for help, but when he didn't she gave up. She kicked open a cooler that had LEAH written on the lid in fading sharpie and grabbed a Pepsi.

The Leah Radius always won. Bella was weak.

Wordlessly, Leah sat back and opened her arms to let Bella sit down. The chair was surprisingly spacey and sturdy; she was able to slide in a little at an angle, so she could face Leah without breaking her neck. Her legs were really, really warm.

"Hey."

Leah smiled, a soft little thing that looked curiously brittle. "Hey back."

Bella stared at her, waiting. Years of talking on the phone, texting, and video chatting made them personally close. She knew her favorite foods, her most hated actors, how fiercely protective of her family she was. She knew what would make her laugh, how to cheer her up, and how to distract her on a bad day.

But that was all pushed to the side when you meet someone again in person after such a long period of time apart. It'd been five years since she last came up here for longer than a week. They'd followed a pattern on the first day back: she came to the rez, they hung out on the beach, Jake came along, they fought over something stupid, and sand was thrown. They tried desperately to fit a year of shit to do into six days, but what they ended up actually doing was lay around smoking weed and talking about _safe_ topics.

Summer jobs. Sports teams. School. The pressing anxiety of reality and how one thing can fuck your life up forever.

Yaknow. Safe topics.

And Leah always made sure she was okay where she was. Leah wasn't comfortable with asking for stuff, and she definitely was the last person to talk about feelings, but she cared and it showed and she sent "you ok?" texts at 3am on a bad day and that's what mattered.

Leah glanced over at Jake, who was cursing at the tent's inability to magically become assembled, and then back at Bella, who was raising her eyebrows. "What?"

"I thought you wanted to talk to me, before." Bella said slowly. Had she imagined the wide eyes and the pleading looks yesterday? No.

Something had changed.

She glanced back at Jake again, who had stopped messing with the tent momentarily to stare back at Leah. They seemed to wordlessly communicate something that had Leah's shoulders sag and her eyes cast down to Bella's lap. She moved her free hand that wasn't supporting Bella's back, starting to pick at the threads of her old ripped jeans.

Bella looked between the two, suspicious. "What?"

"Sorry," Leah sighed, thumping her head back to look up at the sky. "It's nothing, I'm just stressed out about college."

At the corner of her eye, she saw Jake nod and go back to messing with the tent.

Sure.

Right.

 _As if._ Leah was ready to kick college's ass. She'd told her so multiple times over video calls, and there was almost always fists involved in the statement, followed by punching the webcam.

Bella decided to roll with it, because she felt like that was the best thing to do. Leah would—hopefully—tell her what was bothering her and Jake sometime in the future. And it better be sooner than later, or she'd end up pulling her hair out. She hated not knowing.

She hated thinking it had something to do with what she'd potentially done.

"Ugh," Bella grunted, hiding her anxiety, "college."

She wanted to die whenever someone reminded her about college.

"You missed a year, but can't you just test out and come to Leah's college?" Jake asked, optimistic. "That would be so rad, not going... um, there."

"Where?"

"Oh, um, the local high school." Jake elaborated, shifting from foot to foot, looking caught out. He shrugged. "It's highschool. So. Pretty terrible."

Behind her, Leah sighed loudly.

Bella narrowed her eyes at him but had no real reason to be skeptical of his reasoning. He was just acting... shady as fuck. He and Leah were up to something. Or possibly in on something.

Or something.

"I fuckin' wish, dude. My mom made me promise to go back and finish the last year, though. One of her many Mom Commandments she demanded when I decided to come back up here." Including no shifting in the day, no soda, and no weed.

She glanced down at the Pepsi and pushed the tab open, taking a swig, ignoring the old bong teetering precariously on the log next to them.

Whoopsie.

At least she followed the most important rule.

Who knew that hitting Shifter Puberty and turning into a forty pound cat during a road trip back home would cause academic problems for her years later? Not Bella, at the time. Especially not Reneé, who'd thought the half-humanness of her would suppress the Lynx genes. It was such a surprise that her mom had almost crashed the car—Bella, for her part, had tried to exit via window, while screaming.

Lynx's didn't roar like most big cats, given that they were not big cats. They sounded like drunk metalheadbangers impersonating the end of the 'it's Wednesday my dudes' vine.

It was horrible, and Bella was rightfully embarrassed and amused at the same time. The year off school had been nice, excluding the training she'd had to endure just to keep her human form long enough to be considered stable—until she realized that her mom fully intended to put her back into the year she left, instead of just skipping a grade like a sane person would.

"That's shit," Leah said darkly, squeezing her back in a comforting way. "She's on my shit list. You shouldn't have to go through _more_ hellschool—you're smart, you'd test out easy."

Bella smirked, looking directly into her eyes. "I know this, and I love you."

Leah blinked, seeming struck by something, and laughed a little. It sounded slightly strangled, but she melted back as she laughed. "Give me a sip of that, since you're not letting me get up."

Handing off the Pepsi, Bella turned to assess the damage that was the tent.

Jake had gotten the rods in the sleeves and they were clamped down onto the stakes, so she gave him credit where credit was due; he was in fact making progress.

However.

He was struggling with the tarp that went over the top. Every time he swung it over the top and clipped it to one of the rods to secure it and moved to clip the other side, it slipped down the tent and hung awkwardly on the side, flapping in the light breeze.

"Need the instructions yet, Mr Ikea?"

"Shut up. I can do this. I know I can do this." he said, practically growling. She watched as he did it again twice and then started jogging in place, shaking his hands and feet like he was warming up to get in a fight.

"Leah, can I sleep in your tent?" Bella asked without turning back to look at her, attention on him. "I think he's about ready to beat this poor tent into submission."

"Yeah," Leah sighed, leaning forward and shifting Bella more firmly into her lap, resting her head on Bella's shoulder. "Careful, Jake," she said, her voice hiding a warning.

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered, trying once more to clip it into place. There was a moment of silence as he wordlessly moved from rod to rod, with such intensity on his face she couldn't help but snicker. He succeeded, and the quiet was broken by him yelling "Victory!" And then taking a knee, pointing up at the sky. "Thank you, White Jesus."

Leah snorted. "All hail White Jesus."

"Our savior," Bella concurred, "Mr. Jesus."

"Does that mean White is his first name?" Leah laughed, wrapping her hands around Bella's waist and squeezing. Her arms felt like fire.

Bella touched her forearm. Hot.

No, literally, she wasn't just being gay—it was hot. _In temperature._

"Wow, did you get a sunburn? Your skin is wicked warm." She asked, looking closely for a red tint in her tan skin. "You need to stop forgetting sunblock."

"Yeah, sorry," Leah said, sounding oddly sheepish. "I keep forgetting."

"I have some," Bella said, absently patting her friend's hands. "Let me up? I'll get the lotion and set up my side of the tent, since apparently Jake—"

As she talked, the tent wobbled and collapsed. Jake looked crestfallen, still on one knee, and Leah let out a rather loud barking laugh, startling one stoner from across the field enough to yell "fuck!" as he dropped his lighter in the dirt.

"White Jesus fails us yet again," Bella said, solemn. "A moment of silence. RIP Jake's tent, 2018 through 2018."

"May it rest in pieces," Jake sniffed. Then he said, "can I have the instructions?"

Both Bella and Leah smirked.

"You're going to have to beg," Bella reminded him.


	3. Three: Settle

**Hello hello. I already have chapter 4 written, but I need to bounce it off of someone first, and edit it.**

 **Shout out to firenubs, you're like half the reason I'm actually continuing with this. Thank you for your awesome reviews. You're the real mvp**

* * *

 _There's a light on in the attic._

 _Though the house is dark and shuttered,_

 _I can see a flickerin' flutter,_

 _And I know what it's about._

 _There's a light on in the attic._

 _I can see it from the outside._

 _And I know you're on the inside... lookin' out._

—" _A Light In the Attic_ "

Shel Silverstein

* * *

 **•Three•**

The huge blunt Leah had left to die out in an ashtray was soon relit and passed around, the tent left abandoned and the instructions thrown up into a tree (he had refused to beg for it, so Leah made sure he couldn't get to it. Unfortunately, that also meant no one else could get to it either).

Jake unearthed some old folding chairs from under a tarp they kept in the field for summer time rez campers, setting them up in a circle around a stump they used as a table. Leah dragged her chair over, which meant Bella had to get up for her to do it. She used the time to grab the sunscreen and chuck it at Leah's front, who caught it with surprising speed and didn't drop it for once. The click of the cap opening had her averting her eyes.

The wind shifted and the leaves around them rustled, blowing fresh air from the forest into the field. It smelled earthy and sweet; the harmony of dirt and wood and leaf decay. It sent goosebumps across her arms, cool and inviting.

She turned to gaze at the swaying treeline, entranced.

Bella had tons of self control, even more than her mother did after thirty-six years. She was a watered down version of her mom's full shifter potential, so it only made sense that she'd have a firmer grasp on how to be human.

It was all in the genetics.

When she was younger, even a few years ago, she used to hate being half human. She was too small, she thought, when compared to her mom's shifted size. Her instincts and animal reflexes were fogged over by human logic, or, at the worst of times, illogical human _panic_ —which caused _a lot_ of mishaps on roofs or in trees that first year.

As she got older, and her control stronger, she realized that she had the best of both worlds and really shouldn't give a shit about being ' _less powerful_ '. In fact, she could use it to her advantage.

The woods were a promise, these days. The never ending trunks and undergrowth that stretched on for miles and miles and miles bespoke freedom she'd yet to truly experience in full.

 _Tonight_ , she thought, as she watched the leaves dance hypnotically, _maybe tonight_. If she could get away without anyone noticing.

"I got you a chair," Jake said, gesturing to the one across from him.

Bella blinked the campsite back into focus and looked at the chair. Her focus was suddenly razor sharp, and the deep agelessness of the universe became apparent, stretching open its maw before her very eyes. The tell-tale headrush was beginning to tickle the back of her head, and she knew she'd have to sit down soon.

"That was some good kush." Bella muttered, eyes widening at the grass on the ground. It rippled with the wind in patterns she'd never noticed before. "Fuck."

Leah hummed around a mouth full of smoke, and Jake laughed.

Some moss hung from the metal framing of the offered chair, and crumbs of dirt clung to the seat. Besides that, it was alright.

She then looked at Leah, who was lighting a second joint, and her lap, which was calling her name.

Jake gave her a look she knew all too well. The _don't do it_ look. Bella always made a point to ignore it.

"I got you a _chair_ ," he repeated, whining as he watched her move in on her target. "Next time I'll get you nothing. You hear me? _Nothing_!" He sniffed. "Ungrateful."

"Ah, fuck, _Isabella_!" Leah hissed, moving the lit joint away from her face as Bella slid into her lap. "I could've burned you!"

"Sorry," Bella muttered, taking the joint from her fingers to take another pull. "God," she coughed out, struggling to breathe. " _God_."

Leah still seemed a tad bit upset, leaning away from her in the chair, thumping Bella's back. "Easy. And warn me next time, okay? I don't want to light your hair on fire, or worse."

"M'kay." Bella had to apologise, so she bumped the tail end of the joint against Leah's lips over and over until she opened her mouth to take a puff, fighting a smile.

"There you go, widdle babi got her medicine." She cooed.

"God, you're annoying," Leah said, but her tone was so fond Bella didn't take it to heart.

Jake threw leaves at them. "Let me have a hit. Y'all suck at sharing."

Bella looked him straight in the eye and took another drag, slowly and deliberately. She didn't cough when she exhaled, so that added Cool Points to the dramatics.

He pouted, pushing his lower lip out so far it looked ridiculous.

"I donno," Bella drawled, "isn't he underage?"

"Uh-oh," Leah laughed, taking the joint away from her. "Miss Swan here is gonna call her own dad on you. And herself. And me." She handed it to Jake, who snached it up, glaring at Bella.

"Oh yeah. I forgot about that. Medical cards are sort of useless here, aren't they? Like, yaaay legalization, boooo shutting down medical dis...disp... um... dispenserr—" she cut herself off, laughing. She was surrounded by a nice, happy little fire. Leah was so fucking _warm._ She tucked herself deeper into her lap, soaking up the warmth like a sponge.

"Dispensaries?" Leah offered, her smile widening.

"You had a medical card?" Jake asked, exhaling smoke.

"I mean, it wasn't _mine_ ," Bella giggled. "But yeah."

"Wow, bad girl breakin' the law," Leah said, snaking her arms around her again, letting her move without falling off. Bella tended to rock a bit when she started to feel it. Staying still just didn't seem right.

"You like bad girls, Leah-lee?" Bella teased, looking down at her friend with a dopy smile. "I'll have you know I was the girl people cheated off of in calculus class last year." She touched her own face. It felt so big when she smoked certain strains. "And I didn't tattle!"

" _Oh_ , miss dreamy," she said in a dramatically breathy voice. "Did you also get shoved into lockers?"

"If I say yes will you cream your pants?" Bella rocked a little, eyes locked on Leah's beautiful face.

She rolled her eyes.

"If you say yes she's going to get the first flight out to Arizona to kick some ass," Jake snickered, sliding down in his chair and getting comfortable, the joint left to die out in the ashtray on the stump.

Leah did an impression of a growl that sounded really convincing, and Bella laughed. She felt like she could float there all day, in her lap, and never be in danger of drifting away. Leah would never let her go.

"Don't worry, there was no head-in-toilet-bowl situations."

Leah huffed from behind her, arms tightening around her. "Good. Plane tickets are expensive."


	4. Wallflowers

**lmao hi. This has been edited so much idek. As you can see it's the longest chapter yet. That's because I'm gay and have no self control. Enjoy.**

* * *

 **•Four•**

It was late enough that the moon was more than halfway across the sky. She could see the stars as the galaxy slowly spun in her vision, through the top mesh of the tent Leah left uncovered (she was convinced the rain wasn't going to pay a visit. Bella thought she put too much faith in the local new's weatherman.) Around and around as the world turned... she was riding the very last dregs of her high, comfortable as ever and willing to just lay there and watch the sky turn pink.

But she had to get up and do her thing, because the itch had come back in full force the longer she went without distraction. Everyone was quiet, sleeping or on the verge.

She extracted herself from Leah and Jake, making sure they were re-covered by the multiple blankets, though she doubted they needed them. Their skin was feverish, and she didn't understand how they weren't slipping and sliding on the air mattress with collective sweat. Their skin was completely dry, though, and that definitely made it worse. It wasn't natural. The sunburns couldn't be that bad—they hadn't complained about them at all (when Jake was in pain, he would not shut the fuck up) and their skin lacked that irritated red undertone they used to get when they forgot sunscreen while on the beach.

Jake had told her not to worry about it when she voiced her concerns. He wasn't sick, he assured her, and neither was Leah. Just a case of bad burns.

She felt like he'd been telling the truth about some of it, but in a roundabout way. One that didn't admit it all, just some. And the sunburn shit was absolute crap. She felt a little offended that they even tried to spin that, especially since they knew she'd believe it at first. When she was high, she'd take what people said at face value.

When she was sober? Not so much.

Her gut feelings were usually right.

Shaking her head, she dug deep in her bag for her headphones—she usually listened to music when she made her way into the woods to shift—but came up empty handed. Frowning, she sat back and thought about the last place she had had them.

She put them in her car's glove box when she picked up Jake, because they'd been laying on the passenger seat. She rolled her eyes at herself and abandoned her search. Bella could deal without music. Her only worry was her thoughts getting away from her as she walked.

She stood in the doorway of the tent and watched them sleep for a minute. Leah was curled up, arms still curled slightly from where Bella had been her little spoon. Jake was flat on his back, snoring lightly.

She felt like like a creeper, but she couldn't shake the feeling that they were hiding something that she should, like _, know_. It was nagging at the back of her brain, a her thoughts a consistent buzz of energy trying desperately to connect the dots.

Higher temperature. They both seemed a little taller. Jake was always going to be twink-shaped, but his body was less soft baby boy like the last few times she'd visited and more rock hard abs of a power bottom.

She winced. He was like a brother to her. And if she were being true to herself, she would admit that she used to mother him when she was an early teen and he was a tween. Him getting older and growing up just wasn't on her mind.

Honestly how dare he grow abs. Now she'd have to deal with people flirting with her adoptive brother all the time.

And Leah... Well Leah was always hot. Figuratively. Not literally, that part was new and very suspicious.

Bella was the most useless lesbian of all time. And a coward.

Their friendship made this whole 'hiding something' thing sort of worse. The fact that they weren't telling her what the fuck was wrong had her on edge.

Bella could follow her intuition all day, but where it took her she never knew—until it was glaringly obvious and quite literally in her face. The journey there was impossible to predict, and Bella hated unpredictability.

Her Gran told her it was the Lynx blood; the overwhelming curiosity, the drive to learn, the thirst for knowledge.

Reneé took that energy and made it physical, flitting from here to there as she bounced around topics and moved her hands so fast she dropped almost everything she held.

Bella turned it inward, letting it eat her alive.

It was great. Nothing like having your thoughts go a mile a minute while you struggled to even walk properly.

Trying be as silent as possible on the way out, she deliberated on going barefoot. Shoes won, promising a barrier between her feet and the inevitable thorns. She didn't bother tying them, opting to tuck the laces into her shoe instead.

With one last worried glance into the tent, where she made sure her friends weren't dying from whatever they had going on, she made her way out. She turned on her phone flashlight and hoped it wouldn't wake anybody up.

The sharp sound of leaves under her Nikes felt to Bella like miniature explosions in the leisurely moving unpolluted air, but she crunched on.

The world around her was still but moving; leaves clapped in the gentle breeze, and the wind was high enough that the grass was unaffected. Like a snapshot of the earth in one moment, the present was free of restraint and time flowed differently to her; leisurely, like the present was too full and too empty all the same. The trees looked tall, dark and appealing as she moved farther away from the campsite and closer to her goal, almost as if they were inviting her in.

She was tired enough to be loose in her movements, stumbling a few times on rocks and roots with less grace than usual, which was pretty bad (she tripped on air during her best days) but she knew once she got out of view she'd be fine. Or maybe not, she could always fall off a cliff like she almost had on her way here and finally die.

 _As if_ she would be so lucky. She'd probably heal before the bleeding got too bad, anyway.

Her feet carried her to the woods determinedly, and she wondered fleetingly if doing this now, here, was the best idea.

It was a passing thought, though. She already made up her mind the moment she stepped foot into the woods with Jake hours ago, and again before they devolved into dumbass stoners.

With just herself, the moon, and the cold night air, she always fell deep in thought, quiet and introspective. Without the stimuli of the everyday, the ups and downs of life seemed trivial and silly, yet thick with more meaning than there ever was before.

Like living poetry, but with less pretentiousness dripping out of every pore.

Speaking of—Bella was not looking forward to dealing with the inevitable self-proclaimed 'intellectuals' within her advanced English class next week. Just because you could read Shakespeare without an old English translator on Google to get the thinly veiled dick jokes did _not_ mean you had a higher IQ than the whole class.

Bella tapped a palm against her own face, a small slap, distracting herself from delving too deep into her mental rant. She could go on for days about compete bullshit, she really could.

She focused on the leaves, the tops of the trees, the starry sky. There was only a few clouds. Leah had been right about the lack of rain.

But it was chilly out, a reminder that even though summer still had a faint grip on the land, and the sky didn't try to knock you out with gallon-sized raindrops (yet), it was still Washington. She hugged herself, making a face when she shuttered from the cool night air.

The promise of being free to roam in the forest alone after so many years spent in the hot desert with her mother was too good to pass up. It wasn't like she hated the desert; quite the opposite, she loved it. But the desert was bare and shadowless as the sun beat down mercilessly. What little cover she could find was always under threat of burning down. And at night, people got spooked and then—whoops, _guns_ became a problem, especially in the more wild suburbs she and her mom had tended to roam while sporting fur.

She'd gotten shot by a neighbor once while trying to climb her own fence, and that was enough of that for her. No more getting shot; it wasn't a good time and having the bullet fished out was even worse. Fucckkk that.

Charlie didn't know about it. For a _reason_. He'd probably shoot Mrs Fletcher for daring to shoot his daughter or something. He had a thinly veiled protective streak that only got stronger the more guns he had on him.

And he had a lot of guns.

She blinked and dove aside when she realized she was going to slam into a tree—and kept walking, opting to pretend that didn't just happen, looking around inconspicuously even though she was forty feet away from the nearest tent and everyone was asleep. Deny the event to even yourself, and then it was like it never happened, that was her motto.

She glanced at her phone—no service. Not surprising.

The wind picked up and rustled her hair, and the strands immediately found their way into her mouth. Her latest conspiracy was her own hair wanted to strangle her via choking. Good thing she didn't get hairballs when she was human.

She didn't really know what to do with herself now that she was back in Forks, for good. She spent most of her time in La Push when she came to visit, and Charlie hadn't forced her to interact with the town much, besides the odd shopping trip or end-of-trip lunch outing.

Like, what was there really to do, besides hang out in the woods? Hangout in the Safeway parking lot _next_ to the woods? Stand in the local baseball field and smell Essence de Woodland? (Side note—in french, _essence of woodland_ translated to _essence de bois_ , which Bella thought was the funniest shit ever.) Everything she knew about Forks was based on the woods surrounding it. She knew the trails like the back of her paw (ha) but she could barely take herself to the grocery store without first consulting Google maps.

This was her life now, at least for a few years. Might as well get used to it.

Bella kicked herself out of Nevada and then yeeted herself _into_ Washington, which wasn't, like, _ideal_ , but it was the best thing she could do for herself, her mom, and her dad. And Phil, by proxy, but he just wanted her mom to be happy. They didn't really know how to act around each other. Bella was still slightly weirded out by... Him. He wasn't a bad guy, and he was loads better than his 'relatives', but still. He was _way_ older than Reneé... yet he still looked so young.

There was only so many years she could stay in her mom's space at this point before there was a problem, anyway. Her leaving was in the best interest of pretty much everyone, including herself.

Bella cursed as she tripped over a smooth, barely-protruding stone in the dirt.

Sighing and rubbing her forehead, she muttered to herself, placing the blame in the rock and definitely not on her feet.

So here she was. In Forks.

Charlie was eager to have her back, that was evident, but not in the talk-your-ear-off way her mom was so fond of unleashing onto every houseguest. He was a man of few words, (thank god) and he left her alone half the time to do what she wanted.

He told her he'd text her when hunters came into town, just in case they were the type to ignore the deer in favor of a predator's pelt, but other than that he made it clear he wasn't going to refuse her the right to wander in the woods.

As long as she was shifted. That was his one rule. And she respected that, because it was respectable. He didn't make rules for no reason, and they were always fair. The other rule that wasn't a rule—more like a principle—be careful.

He encouraged her to hang out with her friends, even; a far cry from the death grip Reneé had tried to maintain over her social life after her first shift.

This little camping trip was honestly just an excuse for her to not get dragged out of the house to yet another meet-and-greet, small town style, right before she had to go to school.

Charlie wouldn't do that to her, because he was sane and hated parties as much or even more than her, but their neighbor, whom everyone called Grandma Denn, sure fucking would. She was persuasive—the only known grandma who used cookies as a weapon (quite literally).

Her wife Chealse was pretty much useless when it came to curbing her enthusiasm, because she just sat there on the porch and smiled serenely as she knit scarf after scarf. Bella wondered if they had a Sarf Room, specifically for scarves.

They were cute together, absolutely, but Bella wished she could leave the house without having Denn sprinting towards her with snickerdoodles at the ready as if they were ninja stars.

She had a week to fart around in the woods, smoke some joints, hang out with her two weirdo friends. And then. God help her.

School.

 _Fucking_ school.

Forks was tiny. The school was _tiny_. Everyone knew she was coming, because the town was tiny and the latest drama was practically shouted from the rooftops by bored soccer moms. Unfortunately for Bella, Soccer Moms made up half the population of Forks as a whole. She knew jack shit about the townsfolk, so the dynamic at school was going to be a little skewed in their favor and not hers.

In fact, she realized, she knew fucking nothing about the _town_ , full-stop.

She could endure the first few days, if that meant she could silently slip through the school's drama radar after the initial craziness of her arriving (she was hoping nobody noticed her and her entrance was going to be silent and far away from noteworthy, but Charlie had openly laughed himself into endless chuckles when she told him that, so... grand entrance it was, then) and graduate in a year. Then it would be off to college.

She knew fuck-all about what she'd go for—maybe English? Or if she was feeling particularly spicy, she could shoot for an Art degree, and then have a lovely little coaster for her drinks when she graduated and got her grubby little hands her diploma—but she was determined to keep hacking away at the adult shit until she figured it out. Even when she turned a willing blind eye at her own lack of progress, she'd still swing the machete and at least pretend she was going somewhere.

She glanced down at the ground and stumbled, almost impaling herself on a stick.

God. Being alone without music was a blessing and a curse. Her mind kept on going no matter how hard she tried to slam on the breaks. Sometimes that led to epiphanies, but that was few and far between.

Shivering as she broke the treeline, she went deep enough into the foliage to have decent cover. It was fucking cold out, and without her friends for warmth she couldn't really fend for herself that well like _this_.

Thinking of warmth, she had a moment to mull over the fever-like skin of her two friends as she stripped. She did so quickly, but her body trembled with shivers even when she still had her pants on.

Leah had been oddly silent when it came to the subject. That never happened; she was pretty loud when she felt confident, a little brash, and definitely an over-sharer when she became comfortable.

Something was clearly up. Her and Jake absolutely knew something, and they were keeping it from her. Leah had wanted to talk yesterday; maybe that was connected? Maybe she _didn't_ want to ask why she came to Forks, but she wanted to tell her something? Jake seemed to be in on it, but he didn't say either. Was he keeping her from saying what it was?

Were they sick? Did something happen recently that got them _both_ sick? Why would they lie about it if they were?

Did Jake not trust her?

Did _Leah?_

 _Don't think like that,_ she told herself, beating her anxiety back with a metaphorical stick.

The only thing she could think could be the reason they shot up several inches and had hot skin was pretty much impossible. There was just _no_ way.

 _In fact, don't think at all_.

Shoes, socks, and shirt off, she unhooked her bra with practically vibrating fingers and let out an annoyed curse, her anxious thoughts turning swiftly to anger.

If they didn't have a good reason not to tell her, she was going to be _so_ fucking mad.

And that was that.

She mentally dusted her hands of the situation and focused on what she was about to do.

"Why couldn't I have been blessed with a better circulatory system?" she whisper-shouted into the quiet, glaring at the sky. As she peeled off her pants, she went on muttering. "If there's a big guy upstairs, I have a bone to pick with them. I can't sprout fur and four paws every moment I get cold. That would be so fucking stupid."

Once she was naked and her clothes got dumped on a tree branch, she shook her limbs out. She closed her eyes, breathing in and out with deliberate, slow exhales.

Calm. _Calm is the state of utter stillness in the mind, of peace, tranquility... hippy shit... something about chakras..._ No _thoughts about shaking your best friends violently while yelling at them..._

Humming low in her throat, she cracked her neck and swung her torso this way and that with her feet firmly planted for a good _cccrrrkk!_ from her spine.

"Yeah, that's the shit."

She wondered if she could get used to the cold if she just _tried_ , y'know? She never really tried. So she stood there, gnawing on her nails. Within the few seconds of having her ass getting love-tapped by the wind, she gave up. Quit while you're ahead and all that; getting her asscrack aired out in the middle of the woods wasn't on her bucket list, but she could cross it off now. Yay.

What she really needed was insulation.

Lunging forward, she landed on four-oversized paws. The whole process took not even a second these days, a flash of pain so searing hot it felt like her body was on fire, while her bones cracked as if they were getting bulldozed down flat into concrete... and then nothing.

She remembered how it felt the first time she changed. It went nothing like this. More screaming. More pain. Less room in the car. Looking back it was hilarious. Changing in the middle of traffic? Iconic. At the time it definitely wasn't that funny, though.

What had she been thinking before? She couldn't remember. It was all panic and pain.

She checked behind her one last time before running away from the campsite, committing the direction to memory. She rubbed herself up against a few trees just to be sure she could find her way back using more than one sense, and then she bolted her ass out of there.

Her running was short lived, lasting a few minutes, a burst of speed that teetered off into a trot the farther she went. Her kind weren't ones to shed excess energy if the need wasn't life-threatening.

Plus, her paws were fucking huge, since they acted like built-in snowshoes in the wild.

In the desert of Phoenix, she'd looked fucking stupid, no matter how much her mom protested that fact or brushed out her fur (the end result was always a pile of fur almost as big as her, and the next shift she'd have her undercoat back). She overheated time and time again, forced to sit out on the backyard lawn in a kiddie pool full of ice water more than once.

Here, her fur served a purpose. It was nice and toasty under her multi-layer coat, and this time it didn't come with the after effect of heatstroke. Yippie!

When she felt like she'd strayed good enough away from the camp, she stopped and looked around.

There was... trees. Lots of them.

 _Thank you, cat-brain_ , she thought, rolling her eyes.

She hooked her claws in a tree that looked particularly friendly and climbed her way into the branches, sitting on the strongest branch halfway up the tree to look around at top-level. Being as short as she was in this form, she needed the extra height.

Her ears pricked forward and slid back, chasing the sounds of the woods; creaks of the trees as they swayed, the rustle of leaves, the whip of the wind that played with her ear tufts.

She leapt from branch to branch and tree to tree until she found a good nook to lay down in, settling into a thick forked branch that held her weight nicely and didn't sway all that much in the breeze.

And then she waited.

She never knew what the fuck she was waiting for. The meaning of life to just sort of, like, show up, perhaps? A better ending to How I Met Your Mother? The end of the world? Han Solo popping into existence while dressed in Leia's slave outfit?

Usually, it was prey. But she couldn't shake the feeling that she was waiting for something else to pop up in the woods, other than the usual.

Rabbits, deer, mice, birds... boring, expected, easy to track and take down. The feline part of her brain was content with it, but the human part was more than half of her thoughts even shift as she was, and she couldn't help but think she was eternally stuck in the constant state of unease, just... _waiting_.

Bella forced herself to relax, content in the patches of light from the moon that shone through the leaves.

Something sweet, like wallflowers turned up to a thousand and mixed with ferns and asphalt, hit her nose at full force and she felt compelled to sneeze. It was dizzying and strange, burning down her throat as she breathed. It incited, of all things, panic.

The smell only got stronger the longer she sat there, and it was too overpowering for her to ignore. Fear trickled through her veins fast, and she could hear her own heart in her ears like a drum.

What?

The fur on her nape down to her rump stood on-end as she climbed higher, trying her hand at getting away from the smell. The little instincts Bella did have told her to stay still and quiet, so she didn't leap down and run for it like she wanted to.

What the fuck?

She couldn't figure out what was different, why she was getting practically screamed at by her feline side to freak out, but also _not_ to freak out because freaking out would end in something gruesome.

She knew that everyone had a distinct smell. It was usually a mixture of things, but the common factor in everyone's scent was the aroma of a specific flower, and then something fainter, which sometimes pointed to their 'type'; human, shifter, vampire, fae, etc.

Her mom smelled like sunflowers, which was sort of horrible because Bella was allergic to them, mixed with earthy pine. In person, Charlie smelled like bluebells, the wild kind that grew in patches off the roads near his house. Wherever he went he trailed the aroma of fresh mint leaves in his wake, with an aftertaste of wild grass. Phil smelled like tulips and burnt sugar. People she passed by while shifted on the trails in the desert smelled of their own, different flowers, and sometimes she couldn't quite pin the scents down. Besides their flower, they typically reeked of cut grass, which meant they were definitely human. Some humans had fainter grass smells, and her feline nose appreciated them the most.

The wallflower smell was getting painful. She didn't know what to do, besides tell herself not to panic.

Grandma always told her she was smelling _who_ they were.

(Bella always asked her Gran to elaborate, because she was old and cryptic and weird about tradition. She never got an answer. As was the tradition. Bella then grew what she liked to say was a healthy hatred for their traditions.)

As she climbed, she heard something snap in the distance, and she froze up, teetering precariously with one paw stretched up on a branch about twenty feet high in the air. It sounded like a thick twig breaking under a heavy weight. It could be Normal Washington Forest Sounds for all she knew. But her gut was telling her a different story, and her nose was on fire.

 _You are in danger_ , it told her. _Stay hidden._

A bouquet of wallflowers could smack her in the face right now and it would be less potent than what she was smelling. Jesus.

Quiet, quiet, quiet. She regulated her breathing. Slow and steady.

She could hear footsteps now, a set of four, unnaturally fast as they barely hit the forest floor.

 _Pass right by me, pass right by me,_ she chanted in her head.

They were getting closer, the steps louder and louder with each footfall. If Bella could sweat in this form, she'd be manufacturing free ammunition out of her pores.

If only she had a goddamn _gun_.

Bella's mind raced with options. She had very few, and all of them were based on speed. She wasn't tremendously fast, so she'd have to lean on her size and agility to even stand a tiny little, _microscopic_ chance. If she was her mom's size, she could easily win with force alone, but she was two feet tall soaking wet and her only defences were her claws and teeth.

She hadn't had to _really_ fight in this form before. So this was most likely going to go the worst way possible.

She hiked herself up on to the nearest branch so her back wasn't exposed, watching the ground around her raptly.

She saw a flicker of movement in between some branches to her right. It was something _big_. Big and _furry_.

Her tail moved without her consent across the branch with a sharp agitated flick, dislodging moss from the bark beneath her paws. It sprinkled down like dust onto the ground cover below.

 _Fuck._

It was six yards away from her hiding place now, staring at the moss-dust make its lazy way down to the ground, head cocked.

Bella held her breath.

It looked up.

Her eyesight in this form was far beyond 20/20 vision; she was like an elf in the Lord of the Rings. And those peepers looking straight at her were looking mighty intelligent for such a huge ass _wolf_.

Its fur was the color of pale sand in the limited moonlight, ruffled softly by the wind. Tall, gangly, and sort of ridiculous looking; despite the size it looked to be young.

The wolf just stood there watching her, everything still but its ears, which flicked and tilted with sounds even she couldn't hear. It looked at her with burning curiosity, so intense she could read it through all the fur and wolfy-ness.

Though her feline side was screaming at her, she knew, logically, there was _no way_ that beast was an actual wolf. Those eyes knew too much, and that body was just too fucking gigantic to be natural.

Actually... maybe that was why her instincts were going haywire. It knew that the animal before her was more than just an _animal_.

The wolf sat, never breaking eye contact.

They seemed to be at a stalemate.

It couldn't exactly climb the tree, she was sure; wolf claws weren't made for that, but hers were. And she couldn't go down said tree without surrendering her tiny body to become a hulking shape-shifter's chew toy.

She could wait.

Did she really have a choice? The tree was her home now, until the wolf realized it could probably knock the whole thing down with its mass alone.

And then eat her.

Bella hoped she tasted bad.

After a few minutes, the wolf puffed out an impressively long sigh and lay down, putting its gigantic head between its paws.

It looked up at her like a sad little puppy. Bella didn't know what to do. The puppy eyes were getting to her, honestly. She was weak.

Maybe it was nice? A nice killer wolf? A fucking huge good puppy?

To test the waters a little, and to live dangerously, as always (why break character? Bella was never one to be overly cautious, and she wasn't about to start) she hopped down to the nearest branch. It was about a foot lower down the tree, and the wolf's tail thunked against the dead leaves that scattered the ground, its ears perking up.

But it didn't move besides that. It kept its head down and belly to the dirt.

The thing was, Bella was a sucker for hope. She _hoped_ the move to Forks was best for her and both her parents; she _hoped_ school wasn't going to be fucking terrible; she _hoped_ this wolf was super friendly and didn't want to tear her limb from limb.

With hope on her brain and fear in her heart, she hopped down two more branches, totaling three feet or so.

The tail thumping went into overdrive.

God, that was just fucking _adorable_ , and it needed to stop right that instant.

Sometimes in the form of a cat she forgot she could do plenty of human gestures, even without the thumbs and such. There was more to her cat-life than sitting still as a statue and staring at things.

Hesitantly, she lifted a paw and waved at the wolf. She felt dumb as fuck doing it.

It dug its own paws in the dirt and borfed softly, doing a stupid little butt wiggle that went straight to her gay lil heart. Seeming to remember human courtesy, it lifted a paw full of dirt and waved back, overenthusiastic.

The wolf seemed oddly familiar, even if she'd never met it before. _It's the eyes_ , she realized as she watched it watch her. _I've seen them somewhere before_.

The possibility of her _already knowing_ the human side of this wolf made the temptation to drop her defenses completely even harder to fight.

She'd never met a wolf shifter before. She'd met a coyote shifter once before while wandering the wilds of Arizona, but they hadn't shifted back to talk. They simply acknowledged each other—nodding—from very far away, and then went their separate ways.

Without her mom to come with her and wrestle in the desert... Bella wondered if she'd become lonely. So far she hadn't, but she'd only been here a few days and most of the time had been spent surrounded by some sort of family. And it wasn't like she new someone who could shift into an animal so they could hang out, primal style.

Maybe the wolf was in the same boat? Did it have a pack?

 _Oh god,_ she thought, _imagine a whole pack of these huge motherfuckers._

She just... She wanted to see what would happen. She didn't know why, and maybe it was wishful thinking, but something in her was sure if she fought back, she might actually win, anyway. Fucking crazy, but it came from deep within her, so it had to have some sort of basis, right?

After the freak out of her cat-brain, something else seemed to take forefront, and it was much more confident. She'd never felt that cool sureness before. What was that? It felt less like an emotion or her usual human input, and more like an instinct. But it didn't fit with her human or cat side.

 _Curiosity killed the cat_ , she told herself, leaping from branch to branch until she was on the last one she was sure could bare her weight, four feet up from the ground.

The wolf wiggled again and rolled over, exposing its belly— _his_ belly. She averted her eyes from his fluffy chest and focused on his face, which was all dopey, his tongue flopped out and ears smashed down into the dirt. Like that, the dreaded set of teeth she was confronted with looked way less scary.

She took the leap of faith, landing six feet away from him and tensing, bracing herself for... something.

He just borfed again and wiggled some more, stretching his back legs.

 _You're an idiot_ , she wanted to say, trying to convey that with a single look instead.

He gave her the equivalent of a doggy smile.


End file.
